So I just went on five dates. My ex boyfriend saw me with one of them and dumped spaghetti on his head. I left immediately after because I was so embarrassed and angry. After that date I went on another and the guy broke his arm trying to do some trick. Idek what he was trying to do. So, I called it quits after the medic was done. I thought the next date was going pretty well, until he threw up. Got motion sickness or whatever. That was a bust. My other date got us pulled over for speeding and (because he thinks he’s funny) started joking around with the police officer. He got arrested and I didn’t have a ride, so I called this guy (a friend from a long time ago) and we just chilled at his house. We played monopoly and drank wine, played guitar. That was fun too, until his sleeve caught on fire trying to put more wood in the fireplace and he used the towel the wine was on to get it out. Needless to say, I took a wine bath. This day was great. Fantastic. Bloody mARVELOUS.